How do I pray when I don't know what to say?

You don't need the right words. Romans 8:26 says that when we do not know what to pray for, the Spirit intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words — the inability is assumed, not treated as a problem to solve first. The most honest prayer is often simply showing up and saying: here I am. If you want structure, Psalm 62:8 gives the whole instruction in five words: pour out your heart before him.

Start by saying the true thing

The Psalms are the Bible's own prayer book, and a striking number of them open with a complaint. Psalm 13 begins how long wilt thou forget me. Psalm 22 begins my God, my God, why hast thou forsaken me. These were kept, set to music, and sung publicly. Whatever you are worried about saying is almost certainly milder than what is already in the text. If you cannot find words for what you want, start with a description of where you actually are.

Short is fine

Matthew 6:7-8 warns specifically against the assumption that being heard depends on volume of words — use not vain repetitions, for your Father knoweth what things ye have need of before ye ask him. The model prayer that follows is about sixty words long. Some of the most direct prayers in Scripture are a single line: Lord, save me. Lord, I believe, help thou mine unbelief. Have mercy on me.

When there are no words at all

Romans 8:26 is worth reading slowly, because it describes prayer continuing when you have stopped being able to form it. The Spirit maketh intercession for us with groanings which cannot be uttered. That is not a metaphor for trying harder. It describes something happening on your behalf during the silence. Sitting quietly, without producing anything, is a legitimate form of this — and it is what a lot of people mean when they say they cannot pray right now.

Passages referenced

²⁶ Likewise the Spirit also helpeth our infirmities: for we know not what we should pray for as we ought: but the Spirit itself maketh intercession for us with groanings which cannot be uttered.
Romans 8:26 (KJV) →
⁸ Trust in him at all times; ye people, pour out your heart before him: God is a refuge for us. Selah.
Psalms 62:8 (KJV) →
⁶ But thou, when thou prayest, enter into thy closet, and when thou hast shut thy door, pray to thy Father which is in secret; and thy Father which seeth in secret shall reward thee openly. ⁷ But when ye pray, use not vain repetitions, as the heathen do: for they think that they shall be heard for their much speaking. ⁸ Be not ye therefore like unto them: for your Father knoweth what things ye have need of, before ye ask him.
Matthew 6:6-8 (KJV) →
⁶ Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God. ⁷ And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.
Philippians 4:6-7 (KJV) →

Written by the Esther team. Scripture quoted from the King James Version, which is in the public domain.